Then 9th of February comes along.

It was his prominent face. The odd feeling you get in a dull morning that makes it less of ordinary and more surprising one. As clear as the morning light then, I recognized him. I was seemingly drowning into his presence. But I needed to fight back the gravity that pulls me towards him. I desperately needed to hold it back. My resolution was to show my facade face of not seeing him. Fooling who else but myself. With that split second, it was over. We passed by each other just like usual strangers would do. And in that clear and windy morning, hysteria raged in. I was torn between ecstasy and melancholy.

The 9th of February will always remind me of how finally, what we started came to an end. Of how none of us stopped the mark of our downfall. It became a silent agreement. One that I cannot fathom and will not. And cliche as it may seem, it all turns out to be part of our history-- memories that I can only visit once in a while but not to be stayed on any longer. 

The way he caresses her made her shiver
Until now she can still feel him getting in to her deep skin
His lips felt perfectly fits hers as he pulled her closer
She knew she was captivated by his every kiss and touch

It was his strong arms that made her stay
With each grip, he knows she can't resist
The silent night witnessed how they intertwined
Its chilly breeze made them more hungry to hold each other tight

They surrendered of becoming sinful then
Undoubtedly they wanted to make love with each other
But just then, she had changed her mind
Figuring out that something doesn't seem right

She admitted her weakness and wanting to escape
He found himself in dismay once again
The trail of what has happened a year ago took place in that moment
And now both of them has to act as if nothing happened

How strange for them to be able to do that
But as she stepped away from him, she knew she did what is right
She knows her heart is hungry for warm touch and that it's true love
she would like to taste and have.

Decluttering 101

Basically, I have been a lazy daisy for almost 2 weeks or so I guess. And one time, I checked some of my stuff in one of my cabinets. Note that I didn't like fix these in 2 years. Haha. And what do you find in your piles of clutter? Ha! Got a handful of everything I couldn't ditch for a long time now. 

Batch 1

• Movie tickets: Tangled and I Do. Talk about keeping such for sentimental values. Tangled was the first movie I have watched with my baby and I Do, well, I can simply relate on it, and yes, I like Enchong and Erich <3
• Two wallet-size pictures: One with ehem, JC Intal. This was taken between 2005-2006 while he was still playing for Ateneo. Can I just say he smells fresh talaga? I could've inhaled his breath sa sobrang close namen. Ha! Those days that I was really patient waiting for players to come out after a game in Araneta. Hihi. And the second one was with my best friend from TIP, Bart. That first year of becoming a college student. I was very naive and plain innocent. Chos!
• Bus tickets. For more or less 2 years, I have always kept a lot of bus tickets either in my pocket, purse or my bag. Haha! Mapag-ipon ako ng kalat!

Batch 2

• Sugar sachets: With everyday that I have been drinking coffee, I also made sure to bring sugar sachets in one of my purses. Yet I never used any so it got watery and then it's now a mess. Hehe
• Broken ID holder that I used back in my college days and in my work too. Slashed it because I cannot remove my ID in it. 
• Fast food coupons: When you have nothing else more than 50 php or 100 php, these coupons really come in handy. Mauumay ka nga lang sa karne. Chos!
• Mentos: My favorite candy. I know this one is memorable, I just can't remember why.
• 20 peso bill: Always keep in mind, "May pera sa basura." ;)
• Korea's Maxim coffee: My favorite boss handed me this one and kept it as a remembrance.

In cleaning, I always end up retrieving stuff that can be reused and those that should be disposed right away. Recalling a lot of past happenings are also involved in such activity, reason for me to sometimes avoid touching my "other" stuff especially papers or notebooks. Haha. 

Most often than not, I am very OC in taking a look in each of my "before-forgotten-now-remembered-stored-loads". 

You will really never know what is in store for you not unless you take a deeper look on it. Now time for you to check those messy drawers and pile them up orderly ;)

Midnight Writings v.2

Madaming nawi-wirduhan kapag nalalaman nilang hanggang ngayon, tinitignan ko pa rin yung Facebook ng ex ko. Kasabay nito, may pagka-mangha akong nakikita sa mga mata nila pag kinu-kwento ko kung paano ako nakakakuha ng mga impormasyon tungkol sakanya. 

"GOOGLE HELPS". Yan yung sinabi ko kanina. Sa malamang na totoong ang babae ay higit na mahusay sa PNP, NBI, FBI, CSI at kung ano-ano pang ahensyang yan patungkol sa pananaliksik. Diskarte at woman's instinct lang ang katapat.

Okay. Bakit ko nga ba sya tinitignan? Well, una sa lahat, hindi ako stalker. Chos ko lang yan. Kadalasan kasi ang hirap mag-bigay eksplenasyon e. Sa bawat linyang sasabihin nun, 10x mo itong hihimay-himayin para lubusang maintindihan ng nakararami.

GUSTO KO LANG. Oo. Gusto ko lang malaman ang mga whereabouts nya. Kumbaga, ahead ako sakanya tungkol sa mga kung anong mga updates ng bawat isa. Wala namang masama dun diba? Besides, erpats sya ng anak ko. At some degree, keri lang kung manaliksik ako patungkol sa kanya.

WALANG KINALAMAN ANG SUSTENTO. Dyosme naman! 5 years old na ang anak ko! Nung manganak ako way back 2007, ni singkong duling wala syang naabot sa akin. Hanggang sa anak ko e unti-unti ng lumaki. Kaagapay nito ang pabigat na pabigat na gastusin. Pero kebs lang! Ang anak ko, breastfeed yan hanggang 3 years old. Super close kami e. Madonna peg all the time. Kung ang karamihan e hirap na hirap na magpa-breastfeed ng junaks, ako naman, super petiks lang. Wala akong eksena ng paghuhuags ng mga bottles o yung maubusan ng gatas at kung anu-ano pang chores/issues related sa gatas. I-insert ko lang ang eksenang minsan e nangutang ako ng pambili ng diaper ng anak ko. Super na-short ako that time, so ang baon ko lang e lakas ng loob at kakapalan na rin ng fez. Well, I have a lot of reliable friends, at nakautang ang lola mo! Sa hinaba-haba ng panahon, ilang beses nakong nagipit sa pera, maski sa lakas ng loob, pero go on girl lang lagi ang aura naten. Ganun talaga e.

HINDI AKO BITTER. HINDI! With exclamation mark talaga yan. Hindi porke't tinitignan ko sya, at wala pa akong you know, "boylaloo", e bitter or masama pa ang loob ko sakanya. Aba teka, palagay ko naman, lisensyado akong magkaron ng sama ng loob hindi ba? Pero yung totoo, hindi naman sama ng loob e. It's more on, masakit lang. While change is a constant thing in this world, memories can never be a part of that change. I just can't pretend na, "Okay, it has been 5 years and counting. Kalimutan na kita. Di ka na nage-exist. Hanap nako ng iba". HINDI PO GANUN YUN. May higit na malalim na dahilan sa bawat pag-tingin na ginagawa ko sakanya.

ALIW. Syempre naman. Kumbaga, pag nakikita ko na puchu-puchu lang naman ang mga rampa ng buhay nya or so-so lang ang mga pinagkaka-abalahan nya, I have this ego na, "Huh! Tignan mo nga tong mokong na to!". Kumbaga, pampalakas ng self-esteem na, "I have died when you left, but despite of that, I have survived all those fucked up times." On the other hand, my kilig factor/daydream ka na rin. Who doesn't want to have a complete family anyway? Hmm? (Ina Magenta peg). Malay mo naman, matauhan, bumalik sa wisyo at maisipang tumino. Tsarlot!

I know I don't owe anyone any explanation of what I truly feel. Nor to defend why I am doing such actions. But I find little tranquility that he's okay. That one day, I might see him again. And by then, I might be allowed to kill him. Chos!

Obscure.

The rain started to pour down earlier. At first, the skies were to be quite grayish, which makes the scenery more melancholic. I gave in to my vices' invitation. I lit a cigarette. That's the fourth for this month. I gave in to my weakness, how bad is that?

Sooner, I think the rain might be drastic. It is a Wednesday, and it makes me feel blue. When they asks how am I, there's no way for me to respond to them. I'm keeping myself mum. I am currently ignoring the world. I want to retreat from life just for today. This is not good.

Let me just immerse into my emotions. Crying would be the most therapeutic thing to do right now. But they will all get worried. They will think I have gone too far again. But what they don't understand is that I am hurt. That I cannot be productive by any means.

It's closing time. I need to pack my things, my experiences, and the lovely memories I have created alongside my friends.

It's time to take a detour. Alone.

Midnight Writings v.1

October 23.

Finally, Monday is now over. It was exhausting. It was suppose to be a good start for this week but it ended up being far beyond from what I was expecting. I was at the edge of smoking earlier. Yet I succeeded in declining my vices' wanting to lit a cigarette and its sickening scent to be sniffled again. It was somewhat fulfilling. My head was chaotic. Even until now I guess. Problematic-- my current state of mind. To be alone and not to be surrounded by people. That's what I wanted. They weren't as affected as I was. Maybe it's just me, and my paranoia syndrome. Oh Lord, please keep me sane until everything normalizes.

"I'm happy being me"

"I'm happy being me"

This is what I said to my colleague earlier after commenting that I should lose weight. 

She passed by and got amused with my "fish tail" thingy, and suddenly irked "Ate Katya, dapat magdiet ka na para gumanda ka blahblahblah". Having insecurities about your flaws is absolutely normal. Especially for me na mas normal pa sa normal dahil "DA WHO?" nga ba naman ako. I feel much worse pa siguro.

In my entire life, I can no longer count the chances I took to just lose weight. But the thing is I always fail. I am a proud loser of doing so. Why? Firstly, it does not please me. Parang trying hard lang. My urge to lose weight doesn't come from the heart, walang drive kumbaga. Secondly, I feel like I'm doing it to fit in to the bandwagon of the "skinny" society. Which was never what I wanted. 

So here's the gist. Whether you are voluptuous or sige, straight to the point na obese like me, you couldn't just go on a diet all of a sudden; the "no-rice-totally-meal-after-six-thing-no-carbs-blahblahblah" and other depriving habits related to dieting easily.

Know why you are doing it. Set priorities. Is it because you want your old rugged jeans to fit you again? Can't you do a lot of walking because you're running out of breath easily? Is it because you want to be more healthy? To make you feel even better? If yes, then go and start living a healthy life. But if you will just do it to please anyone else, I'm telling you, it won't work. 

At the end of the day, whether you have achieved that 36-24-36 bod or just becoming less fat, what's important is that you're happy with yourself. Self-esteem lang yan te! At wag papadala to those people who are throwing insulting words on just for you to feel miserable since that's what they feel with themselves. Because no matter how skinny or huge you are, if you are not happy, it will always show. It will always affect the way you perceive things.

Yun lang. Go lang te! Uso macho ngayon. And once you look at the mirror, say to yourself, "Ganda moooo!" with full conviction. Embrace yourself for who you are, and by that, people around you will love you more :)

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This was suppose to be my entry yesterday but as obvious I am blogging it today. Hehe. Have a good day! :)

Tsundoku Syndrome.

The Moth Diaries and What You Have Left were the books that I bought yesterday just right after a job interview. I felt the urge to buy these books since both tackles on how one thinks in a more abysmal manner, far from a normal person would think, I suppose. 

Same with the last three which I bought from MIBF-- The Good Psychologist, and After You. Except for the Instinctive Parenting, which is obviously about raising a child in a way that you have optimistic views upon your strengths. 

Lately, I have found benefits in reading. It makes me a lot more entertained just by flipping its pages. Realizing that in just a short period of time, I am in another world, being captivated by each of the scenes I make up in my mind. I enjoy learning new words. I always have the amazement of adopting vocabularies-- whether it rings a bell or simply something new to me. Reading seems to be a valid reason to be absent-minded. For people to avoid disturbing with some of their rants. Haha. Call it selfsh tactics.

As what I have in one of my previous post, I don't read all the time, but maybe most of the time. With reading, you're killing time in the most intellectual manner. Same as with your emotions. It lets you explore more of your feelings when it comes to the different characters, situations you are picturing. And most of the time, I end up crying as I reach for the final pages of a book. The three books that have made me howl my eyes so far would be Dekada 70, Desaparesidos both authored by Lualhati Bautista and The Outcast by Sadie Jones.

I am fond of books which talks about personality. On how one tries to find out his/her purpose in life. Of what life is really all about. Whether you are to continue wandering or to not to pursue for your search. Goes the same thing with books which genres are the typical love stories and parenting. More often, I look for books that are not authored by well-known authors. Somehow, I don't enjoy thinking the way others do. Hehe. If a book's in its heyday of everyone reading it, I don't plan of doing the same thing. Or, para maiba lang. Kanya-kanyang trip :p

So, basically, I am suffering a slight of "Tsundoku Syndrome". Which is buying books yet not reading them and you just end up piling them up on your shelves. Bisyo! Hehe. Surely I will be able to go on and finish all of these. But for now, I am working on Paulo Coelho's Aleph. A must read for everyone who can't seem to be euphoric. (I like how his words seem to be full of warm. And yes, he's one of the exceptions about well-known authors)

Grab a book and make your day more productive! :)

Not a change of heart but a change of mood.

Sinaltik ang Monday. Serry!

Do you have those days wherein at the first couple of hours you were doing fine? But as the sun goes down and darkness fills in, you suddenly have the change of mood. I am no anti-social. Going out is what I enjoy. Being surrounded with weird people. Doing the not so typical and typical things.

But this day is gotta be an exception. Abruptly, I just felt like not talking. Mala-Gibson Bonifacio lang. My tendency of being too talkative wasn't there. Even until now. Like there's nothing to say anyway. Ha! This is crazy! This is certainly weird!

I am recalling how my day went on and it was fine. The usual waking up and preparation for work. My baby woke up pretty late though and I wasn't late for today. And yes, I had some troubles at work. Petty issues. 

I just want to be on my own I guess. Like I am not required of talking to anyone about anything. Lost interest for what's going on and what will go on. Aaaaaah!!!

Very unusual. I cannot figure out why I'm acting like this for today. Serry. I hope tomorrow will not be the same. -_-

A good deed, anyone?

Yesterday same time, I received a call from Ian asking me to meet them up in a pizza parlor near the office. I hurriedly went down and saw 4 of my friends chatting inside. 

Saving 2 slices of pizza was really sweet of them to do. So we were like having small talks about whatsoever topics then, and I was with my regular complains on how scorching it is to stay inside the resto when a man with his like 4 yr old kid suddenly came in asking for alms. At first we were not minding them at all since it is a little bit frightening to entertain strangers anytime of the day.

The child he was with was eating ice cream, and I thought of handing him over the other slice of pizza instead of giving them money. What will they do with coins that we might give? Or to any bill that isn't enough to make them buy enough food to gobble. They might just end up buying vices like cigars or any drugs. Maybe.

And as they took the pizza, I told the man, "Tay, pagpasensyahan nyo na po ha." Then I told the kid, "Kainin mo yan ha, masarap yan. Pakabusog ka." As soon as they were on the door to go out, Tatay kept on nodding his head, giving a gesture of appreciation. And he was also asking his kid to wave his hand. 

Both of them kept on smiling. And I felt very delightful about it. 

I felt relieved after doing that act. Masarap sa pakiramdam na may natulungan ka. Kahit di ako nakapag bigay ng pera, kahit paano, something that will not make them hungry naman ang naabot ko. It was not too much for them to receive, pero helpful na yun. Sana. Kahit paano.

I'm always in a pitiful mood upon seeing these people around. If only I am powerful enough to help them out and provide them what they need. Pero hindi e. Di naman ako mayaman. Hirap din ako sa buhay. What I earn is only sufficient for my daily needs. 

I seldom think that what if I will also run out of help from the people I know. And that I'm only left with strangers, will someone also help me out? I don't know. But as I write down this entry, I want you to also help anyone with the most simple gesture that you can do for them. Food is the necessity that we can provide for them. As long as its clean of course. Wag naman yung tipong the food is already a messy one. Hindi naman kelangan monetary value ang maibigay e. I guess, the fact na tumutulong ka sakanila, mabubuhayan sila ng loob at hindi sila mambabastos.

Other than Tatay, I have also met few strangers around the office's vicinity. In Jolibee Tycoon, there's this jolly girl who is always in a good mood asking for even a peso coin. Happily, she even tries to ask for your food or drinks. 

Across UA&P, there you can see Starbucks wherein a bald girl roams around carrying sort-off a plastic bag. My first encounter with her was when my friends and I were staying up late after work. She approached us and suddenly making kwento about her or one of her family members having diabetes. So she's asking for money for the dialysis thing. As the most affected one, I gave her a hundred bill. After a couple of months, after shift, we headed to Strata area, in Lasapin to be exact just to eat out. Same friends in this scene. Now here comes the second scenario abut this bald girl. She first went to the table beside us and the customers who were seated handed her money. And since we are already familiar about her, we were really ignoring her as she reached our table. She was selling some sampaguita flowers at that time, and guess what she said, "Mga putangina nyo! Ang dadamot nyo!". That was terrifying! Umalis lang sya as if nothing happened.

Last would be this American guy who I think is in his 40's or something. We were killing time in Ministop Tycoon when he came to us sweating and seemingly to be in a rush. With his complete bag full of soccer things. He was wearing a soccer uniform. Narrating us his story that he is heading to a soccer game for Smart chuva-chuva. Couldn't recall exactly kung anong game basta soccer game. We told him to go to the nearest police station for him to report what had happened to him. But he insisted that he needs money lang para makapunta sa venue. But since some of my friends knew him before, nag refuse kame with what he was trying to say. Looks like it's his way of living here in the Philippines. Playing a trick on people.

It will never be easy to extend help to this people. Scary and somehow you can't just spoon-feed them with what you can give all the time. But for those who are extremely helpless and harmless, why not comfort them with a warm way of chatting and/or smiling at them to make them feel at ease in the world which appears to be cruel to them.

In a daily basis, let us try to be a good samaritan to anyone who is helpless.

Getting over smoking.

They say you don't know yourself. That no one  knows you at all. But there are certain things that makes you happy. Makes you retreat from sadness and be your diversion for a moment. 

When I got pregnant five yrs ago, what was left for me to do was to stay at home. Not to continue college. Can't see my friends due to their school schedules and couldn't even go out as much as what I was doing then. I was introvert for two years. Losing self-confidence and curiosity over what the world has to offer. 

Not until I started working and studying at the same time, year 2009. It was a year later, in mid-November when I started with my vice-- smoking. One of the sickening ones a person will have. Yet admit or not, it is enjoyable. It gets you hooked!

From Marlboro Lights, to Menthol, to Black Bat. I have tried and enjoyed those. In a world wherein people can be stressed right away, they look for immediate ways to release the consuming feeling they have-- that would be smoking.

Purchasing is very accessible. Especially in the Philippines wherein a stick of it only costs 3php. Around the school's vicinity, or any buildings, you will definitely achieve the highness that it brings you. 

After school hours, just before I ride a bus, I finish a stick to help me to relax and sleep as I am on my way to work. And when I get to work, I smoke, starting from 2 sticks a day to even finishing half pack of it. Most of my colleagues are smokers. Understandable how contagious it is for everyone to start smoking. But no, it was my decision.  I let my self fall into its spell and to smoke in a daily basis. It worsen during 2011. From half-pack, I took so much pleasure in buying a whole pack of it, Marlboro Black-- which has become a favorite of mine. 

When I'm feeling sick and tired from my personal issues, work dilemmas and other random stuff, I smoke. The maximum of it would be 3 sticks at a time until I make myself feel more calmed. At some point I made myself believe that it gives me serenity. Whether it is break time from work, or in a coffee shop, or chit-chatting with friends, or having a celebration, or attending gigs, or just plain nothing, I smoke. Automatically, you will see me with a lighter, a pack of cigar and candies. 

But you know, everything that is too much will ain't do you good. For several times, I have tried to stop smoking. Just like anything else, I grew tired from puffing all day long, burning my lungs, and the scorching heat of it that touches my lips. I got sick from it too. Getting a lot of check-ups, being absent from work just to rest and being guilty of neglecting my health. I came to realize more that it's damaging me. 

I wouldn't justify the logic of it. But I guess, I was suppressed with my frustrations. That way back, I didn't have any ways in which I can be rebellious as I want to because I have a child. 

There comes a period that you just want to fill destroyed, broken and that you cannot be fixed anymore. And from there, after getting drained, you try to carry on yourself again. To regain and to restart. Sana lang, lahat ng nalulugmok, subukang tumayong muli at wag mawalan ng pag-asa. Hindi lang pagyo-yosi and solusyon dyan!

Self-motivation. Amid of advertisements, your loved-ones and family and friends telling you of its bad effects not just on your health, but to others too, you will never stop smoking. You won't let yourself to be convinced. Magkasakit ka na't lahat, sige parin. We have the irresponsible excuse of saying, "I can't because I have been smoking for 5, 10, 20 yrs. Blah blah blah!!!", "Stress kasi ako. Blah blah blah!!!", "Di ako makalma", "Kelangan ko to para makatulog", "Bagong kain ako, pampatanggal umay". But in reality, we just don't want to. 

The longest time that I didn't smoke was for 29 days. That was maybe a month or two ago. But unlike my heyday of puffing, it's no longer a daily routine for me. And that makes me really glad and relieve somehow.

I will not wait for New Year just for my resolution to start. I wouldn't allow myself to spend its 2nd anniversary in smoking. It will never be easy, but you have to encourage yourself, and be determined in doing so. This is my gift for my baby. For her to have a healthier Mommy :)

If you have plans to stop smoking, do it now. No one will help you but yourself :)

RH Bill. What's your stand on this?

Nowadays, this has outgrown to be a serious topic in the Philippines. Not that it hasn't been a serious one before, it's just that mas na-hype sya ngayon. Maybe due to social media that inflicts people way of thinking. Yung propaganda mas naging accessible. Whether you are PRO or ANTI.

Personally, years ago, I was like, "nako, wag kang magpi-pills kasi masama yan!" Those were my usual words to a friend who's sexually active. I myself never tried taking such pills. First, I was unaware of the existence of those pills. Yes, the only thing I know way back was the "withdrawal" thing and the usage of "condom". And that I always hear na "cancerous" daw ang mga pills para sa mga babae. That was before. When I was very naive and I what was left of me was my innocence. That I know should have never been a valid justification. 

People might think ironically about it because I have child. They expect you to be well-informed about it, but sadly, I was never. 

So now that it's the heyday for this issue. I have read random articles, heard various insights and I am personally agreeing with this bill to be passed on. 

Bilang isang ina. Okay, bilang isang batang ina sa edad na 23, I feel like there should be enough ways in which youth should be informed on what pre-marital sex beholds. Other than the pleasure which is hindi natin dapat ipagkaila, we, us matured adults should let them know of the consequences of each of their actions. Yung long term na magiging effects nito. At maski naman sa isang mag-asawa. Hindi nga ba't meron tayong tinatawag na "marital rape"? Let us accept the fact that this is happening. It has been going on.

Sabi nga, "Walang maling tanong. Meron lang e baluktot at sinungaling na sagot."

I guess may katotohanan na nakapaloob dito. "Sex" is a taboo topic in the Philippines. We're used to being bragged as very conservative. Ang ating mga "Maria Clara", ang ating pagkamahinhin, ang ating pagka-di makabasag pinggan. 

Natatangi nga naman ang ganitong kaugalian ng Pililipino. Pero sa kabila nito, kadalasan ng mga magulang, nababalot sa takot na sa paglaki ng mga anak nila e, magkamali sila. We avoid discussing adult issues at home. Siguro, may ilang na nararamdaman ang mga magulang. It seems to be inappropriate telling your child about this sensitive one. Syempre nga naman, "paano ko ba ie-explain sa anak ko ang sex sa paraang hindi ito masagwa at malaswa?"

"Curiosity eats the cat." One thing parents are neglecting. Children now have the capacity to think on their own. In the age of the new technology, wala ng di malalaman ang kahit na sino. And later on, it's just so alarming as the rates of abortion, teen pregnancy, mothers dying due to giving birth, etc have been increasing rapidly for the last few years.

We end up blaming ourselves. The way we have raised our children. The society. The media. The government. Even the absurd "nasa lahi kasi natin yan" excuse.

Pero di nga kaya, panahon na para mas lumawak ang ating pag-iisip? Hindi kaya't kailangan na natin munang isantabi ang mga nakasanayan na at subukan-- na baka sakaling sa paraan ng pagpasa sa RH Bill e malutas ang mga kalugmok-lugmok na sitwasyong ito?

Bilang isang babae. Alam kong sa ikabubuti ko ang RH Bill na ito. Hindi ko man alam ang talagang kabuuan ng batas na ito, sa pakiwari ko, karapatan kong alagaan ko aking sarili. Sa kung kailan ko gusto mabuntis. Ilan ang gusto kong maging anak. At sa kung anong contraceptive ako magiging komportable. Para hindi maabala ang aking araw-araw na pamumuhay. 

Lahat may pros and cons. Pero babae, matuto kang bigyang halaga ang iyong sarili. Hindi lamang ang iyong kabiyak o kasintahan ang siyang may karapatan na diktahan ka. Maski ang gobyerno o ang simbahan, hindi mo dapat bigyan ng permisong i-manipulate ka. Hindi kabawasan ng pananalig sa Diyos at paniniwala sa simbahang Katoliko ang pagiging PRO RH Bill. Gaya ng di ka magiging santo o higit na mabuting tao kung ikaw naman ay ANTI RH Bill.

Kung hindi ka naaapektuhan, o maaapektuhan ng issue na ito, maari lamang na bigyan mo kaming mga kababaihan ng kalayaan. Kalayaan na mag-isip at mag-desisyon ukol sa aming katawan. Sa pamamagitan ng batas na susubok na kami'y alagaan, at protektahan.

These are fully my own opinions. Thank you for reading.

Mind to read a more well-structured view of what RH Bill is all about. Kindly visit Senator Pia Cayetano's site: http://www.mydailyrace.com/

To resign? To resign?

"Resignation Letter?"

I was employed under this Korean company two years ago. At first, I was satisfied with the issues when it comes to salary deductions, regulations especially benefits. Not until this year came and I tend to understand more the essence of these factors. As a regular employee, automatically you are entitled of receiving the 3 most necessary benefits under the Philippine Law: SSS, PhilHealth and PAG-IBIG.

Hand-in-hand, employers and employees are assigned to fulfill their tasks with its remittances. But I guess it's no longer a new issue upon Korean companies who are having their delaying tactics when it comes to this serious matter.

They deduct from your monthly salary, yet upon checking your accounts, it's all empty-handed. You ask the Manager in charge for documents, but to no acknowledgement at all. They kept you waiting for days, months until it's either you have totally forgotten about it or you just lost interest in updating. 

Those two years you have worked hard. Whether there's a typhoon, huge flooding or you're terribly sick, you still need to kick your ass out and go to work just not to have pricey deductions. Valid reasons? No, they will not accept any!

And this is what you get after all. How troublesome! 

It's saddening. Daily you are weakened by what is going on. Annoyed with the faces of these people who tricked you instead. 

Hearing a lot of hearsay isn't doing me any good. Want my mind to just be blown away. Away from this office right now and get away from the sickening situation. Disappointing. 

It's now a matter of "Do or Die"!!!

"Paglipas ng ulan ay mapapangiti ang araw".

NCR. Metro Manila. Marikina. Naungusan na naman naten ang matinding hagupit ng kalikasan. Sampu ng mga nasalantang lungsod. Sa pagsikat ng haring araw, sana dala nito sa bawat kababayan natin ang pag-asa, katatagan ng loob, at bayanihan para makaraos sa mga susunod na araw.

Sana natuto tayong muli na tigilan ang pagtatapon ng basura kung saan-saan. Pagsunod sa mga batas ukol sa kalikasan. Maging alerto. Maging produktibo sa kahit na anong pamamaraan.

Sa lahat ng mga sumuong sa baha para mag rescue at mamigay ng relief goods, abot abot ang paghanga at respeto na na-earn ninyo sa sambayanang Pilipino.

Walang maliit na tulong. Walang hindi kakayanin. Bayanihang Pilipino. Bangon Pilipinas!

No entry! No entries!

Ugh! My bad that it took me over a month to not to have any entries here in my blogspot account. Feeling really upset that I never took even few minutes to jot down things upon what I have been up to nor what I have not been up to.

Alright, let me just say few things just before I hit my bed since tomorrow will be a new set of week for me to undergo! I have been staying at home for few days now since I got really sick last week. Went to see a doctor and found out that I have-- Acute Pharyngitis! Yes, got it from smoking! It is quite similar to having asthma-- not being able to breathe and all. So these days, I was totally groggy from all the meds I have been taking. And to mute mode since I almost lost my voice. 

And at the same time, had Athena to be checked as well. She's perfectly doing fine. The pedia said she's already fit to go to school, though she mentioned some important issues that I was really in awe to hear.

Bought a book from an online bookstore-- Leaving Katya. Quite odd however whenever I am reading my name, yet it gives me chills, I feel like it's the real me being talked about in it. Haven't started reading it though, I still have another book to get over. 

Currenty downloaded a lot of new songs-- from Gin Blossoms to A Fine Frenzy and from the locals as well-- Kamikazee, Ebe Dancel. It's amazing how music can lock you up within it's rhythm and lyrics and tends to also suffocate you. 

By September, as I end my part time as a personal tutor for Korean kids, I am already eyeing for a resignation. Not that I am abrupt about this decision, this has been lingering for months now. I guess there are a lot of priorities to consider especially now that my daughter is about to start with her schooling.

I have dreamed of John-- as if we were really together. That in reality what we have were pure happiness. I tried to not to wake up anymore, to just live with my facade is showing me. But I once again woke up, and reality slapped me that I am still not with me, that we are not even an inch close with each other.

"I'll be alright... as long as it matters. As long as you're here with me now" --Has remained to be my LSS for days now.

P.S. It ain't definitely gonna be a sunny day tomorrow, better to be geared up then!

Third day! Three more months to gooooo!

I find it  more absurd than ever that I have to ride the bus daily just to go to work. It's unacceptable routine for me. The sea of people makes me sick, and that everyone are too near that you can smell what they had for breakfast, weather they were able to take a bath or not. That you have to endure each of those minutes that you are in between random strangers. Oh! Feels like I'm suffering from Claustrophobia. Just kidding! But some point I know I really tend to be terrified with a lot of people around me, that I feel there's no escape anymore, that I'm running out of air to breathe! 

Oh Lord, don't let me lose my patience all through out this next 3 months. I need to withstand this freaking morning rush.

Babaeng Walang Pahinga!

It's confirmed! I'm gonna start my part-time job on Monday! 

I was with a big smile when finally I received an SMS from Teacher Flo who will be my next part-time boss. Quickly I have replied and felt relieved that at last, I have a new way to earn money!

Oh I have waited for this for awhile now, and I couldn't be anymore thrilled with this big news! Three months of having a part-time job won't be that long. Just the right timing to prepare for my baby's 5th birthday plus an additional help to my 'soon-to-be thrift shop'.

Changes are now coming up:

• The NO MORE nocturnal nights for me.
• The NO MORE staying late in the office, gossiping with co-workers, strolling around the Metro
• MORE of waking up by 6AM. And hitting the morning rush. Grr! Here's when the challenge comes!
• MORE strict handling of errands, especially those that are too personal
• MORE of time management
• NO MORE lunch time with the baby Athena :( This is the saddest part for me. I can just sleep with her for a couple of hours, and need to prep for work again

In spite of being happy about this new job offer, what bothers me is that I will have lesser time to be with my baby in the next 3 months. But since I am raising her on my own, I have to face the reality that I have to work harder for her. For what she needs and what she wants as well. Soon, she will be a pre-schooler, I want to be responsible with all her expenses, proving myself on how I can handle motherhood completely.

I know this will not be uncomplicated at first, but with few adjustments, surely she'll be able to adjust too. With this new kind of set-up, I must always remind myself of my priorities are, and that is my baby.

For the next 3 months, NO ALCOHOL DRINKING, NO PARTIES, NO GIGS. Sacrifices wouldn't be that tough knowing that at the end of it all, everything will be worth it!

Lezz do diz!

Karirin ang karir Katring! 

As an Article Writer?

As the word “RESIGNATION” remains as one of my escapism for awhile now, at some point I am still undecided to whether I should quit from my job or not. But since I do have friends from different fields, I have asked one to just refer me to any part-time job. That is if my work will be approved.

Article Writer—sounds cool eh? Alright, so I may not know how to write like how a usual writer writes. I don’t have backgrounds of any Mass Communication or Journalism classes, but what I possess is the willingness and at some degree maybe cleverness in pointing my ideas out with topics that are common, and at the same time bizarre or atypical ones.

And this is what she gave me: A Frigidaire and KitchenAid Specs and Descriptions. I need to make a review out of it! In 250 words, in the span of two hours!

So just now I have remembered, I didn’t even care to check if I consumed 250 words or not. You see, instructions are really important. I should be more attentive in following such.

And going back to what I was saying. At that moment, I was in my workplace, would get a call probably in 30 minutes. Can you just imagine how stunned I was and at the same time I felt my blood speeding up enormously. I was excited! I felt like for the first time, I can show off what skill I have. That I can take anything seriously as long as I focus on it.

Hesitation was nowhere to be found then. I made myself undistracted all throughout the given time. And accepted the challenge of writing for them. I wouldn’t brag about it as if it was really the best article I have ever written. It was the first time, and I would like to go on with that kind of work. Hopefully.

The adrenaline rush that has gotten into me somehow paid off since I was able to pass it according to the time restriction. Now it is just the result that I have to wait for.

No matter what the result may be, I will not be dismayed, rather I will encourage myself to excel more :)

K.