ATTENTION: Kids Section!

While strolling in Megamall, one of Unicef's volunteer approached me handing over sign-off sheets wherein I was quite adamant about. Anyway, the very petite girl who's sporting her cutie pixie hair (na trip ko din to be my next hair do. Yay!) asked for my signature for a very tricky yet affecting question: "What is the most important for kids?"

The four choices:

1. Health & Nutrition

2. Education

3. Shelter

4. Protection

*Have you thought of your answer then?

With no delay, I did sign that paper and chose the fourth option. And have observed that for the first 20+ signatures, I was the only one who considered "Protection" as what is the most needed of kids. With that instance, I asked the volunteer, "How can you provide the other three if you are not genuinely concern & loving to kids?". By securing them emotionally, of us being adults mean more that what could those other aspects do for them.

I even eagerly asked if she's indeed a volunteer, and with a warm smile, she said, "Yes, maam. May 3 months na po. Pero yung iba, may 1 year na." (Note: I was in my very manghang-mangha look upon haring this. Hehe) Hence, my curiosity & "chikadora" side kicks in, I further asked questions. So here are some info I got (from her & the web):

• Visit www.ph.jobsdb.com and start searching for Unicef. I'm giving you my best regards in using its Search tab. Wasn't really useful. Natanga lang ako. Mehehe!
• Anyway, decided to use Google (because Google helps, srsly) and found this page: http://www.unicef.org/philippines/aboutus_jobopportunities.html#.Ug0sDtJLUwg
• Scroll down a bit and full details on how to become a volunteer can be found.
• Their main office is in Makati. So if you are from North, definitely it's quite troublesome (considering its distance & the outrageous hindi-ako-makamove-on-scene of EDSA)

Did end the small talk by simply saying, "Good luck! Sana makarami kayo ng signatures!" With that simple gesture, I can say that it became meaningful. Hopefully, those signatures will go a long way.

Just to share. One of my dreams, is to have an NGO (not inspired by Napoles at any way. Hoho!) that seeks to take care of kids. From abandoned fragile babies, to abused ones, out-of-school youth, child laborers et al. 

Pangarap kong dumating ang isang araw na hindi na laman ng lansangan ang mga bata. Ang hindi na sila kasa-kasangkapan ng mga sindikato/ng mga masasamang loob. Na hindi malulutong na murahan kundi tawanan ang aalingaw-ngaw sa mga bibig nila. Na ang kanilang matutuna'y karunungan imbes na kamunduhan.

Ang manatili silang ligtas at hindi nakahain na pambitag sa mga hayok ang laman. Sa murang edad, gusto kong maranasan nila ang "tears of joy" hindi ang luha ng sakit/pagdurusa. Bilang bata, karapatan nilang maalagaan at hindi pabayaan. Ang mahalin at hindi abusuhin. Ang mapagod kakalaro at hindi ng kaka-trabaho." 

For the time being, alam ko, simpatya, dasal at paganito-ganito lang ang magagawa ko. Incapable pako ng mga da moves to be involved. Pero paano ba't darating tayo dyan sa dapat kalagyan. If each & everyone will just have a heart for this concern aside from sa mga maka-bagong isyung inaaarte naten, siguro paunti-unti, magiging reality din ito.

Kung ang bawat like/share/tweet/retweet/heart/comment e may kaakibat na aksyon at butihing intensyon, magiging mabangis ang ending ng ganitong masaklap na isyu. Bow.

In Between Life & Death

I am recalling one instance wherein I asked Mama to watch this very eccentric vid in YouTube about kids that are "serial killers". In the middle of it, Mama paused it & said, "If there's a very high bridge, a normal person would be scared to death in peeking but you, you will take a leap & let yourself fall."

How strange it was for her to say it, well in fact all I wanted was for her to see the video. She then hugged me & said, "You are bothered." That's when I broke down, hugged her tight and all I remember was that I continuously cried. 

SUICIDE.

Have you ever thought of dying or worse, killing yourself? Because I have.

I was 18 when this word first crossed my mind. And ever since, it never left me. Once in a while I still think of not just killing myself but dying per se.

Pain fascinates me. Hence dying seems to be fascinating. As on why and how I have thought of that? I'm still left clueless. Maybe because I once felt it. "To live an unlived life". 

So I try to retreat from tormenting memories. Haunting events from the past that will trigger my "saltik". Taking in charge of pain & hyped emotions is something I am trying to overcome.

It was months ago when I did cut my wrists for several time, for several days. Until my emotions weren't that hyped anymore. That's the only time I put a stop on it. Whenever I do that, I feel things are more real. How strange for someone who is leaving to dream about death. 

One time, I was scanning one of my diaries, and found a note that says, "I hope one day, death will find me." Recovering is not easy especially if you are fighting with it on your own. But I have my own means of diverting my anxiety. Hopefully it does work all the time.

Currently I am pretty okay on handling what life throws at me. Pain is one inevitable thing in this world. But I choose to be strong & be driven of keeping my sanity, somehow. 

I don't encourage people to think of dying or killing themselves, however it's a reality that we could not escape from. Yet, optimistically, what I want people to do is to be aware of life & on how to make it worthwhile. 

Just like what Dr. Blake in Veronika Wants to Die said, "Doesn't it feel better to be better?"