It will not work out if ________________

Currently listening to Boys Night Out.

Topic is: It will not work out if: 

Alright. So someone said that "It will not work out if he/she is a single parent".

So I can't help not to somehow react and to think about what the caller has said. I wouldn't say I disagree with the comment. In 5 years that I have been living a single-parent life, there was never a time that I went out on a date, and that I wasn't really interested in finding nor mingling around guys just for the purpose of falling in love, again.

But not a couple of years later, when this guy confessed that he was liking me during our college years. It was something surprising to me, felt like, at my most invisible state, someone saw me, noticed me. And the daily SMS went on for months, seeing each other in the "takas mode" since he is in a relationship. Oh yes, he is! 

I didn't see it coming that I will really say the words "I love you" to him, but I did, and the worse is that he replied, "I love you more". Maybe I enjoyed the benefits of having someone emotionally, even if not physically. Our heyday lasted for 8 months. We both decided to cut the communication just last February. 

What hurtful at this time is that I can no longer talk to him the way I do during our college days. It's like I am restricted to text him, nor to chat with him. In fact I deleted him from one of my social networking sites, making myself believe that that is the best for me since I love torturing myself by checking his profile. 

I admit that I only did all of these again because he made me feel that having a child is not a big issue because he loves me, and that my set-up right now is no longer questionable. Yet, what he feels for me, his sugar-coated words, and weak actions weren't enough to prolong what we have. 

He made me believe to hope once again. To think positively that someone would want to be with me. And that someone would love to embrace my insane persona. Guess, at the end of it all, he chose to leave me because he came to realize that  he doesn't want me anymore. That he can't stand my idealism of being realistic, which he thinks is being more of a pessimist, and above it all, he can't face the fact that he made himself deal with someone as crazy and vagabond as me. 

"It will not work out if one is not brave enough to accept any facet of you, whether you are a single parent or not".

I have lost more than what I have gained. Nakakapang hinayang yung pagkakaibigan. Seriously!

Third day! Three more months to gooooo!

I find it  more absurd than ever that I have to ride the bus daily just to go to work. It's unacceptable routine for me. The sea of people makes me sick, and that everyone are too near that you can smell what they had for breakfast, weather they were able to take a bath or not. That you have to endure each of those minutes that you are in between random strangers. Oh! Feels like I'm suffering from Claustrophobia. Just kidding! But some point I know I really tend to be terrified with a lot of people around me, that I feel there's no escape anymore, that I'm running out of air to breathe! 

Oh Lord, don't let me lose my patience all through out this next 3 months. I need to withstand this freaking morning rush.

Babaeng Walang Pahinga!

It's confirmed! I'm gonna start my part-time job on Monday! 

I was with a big smile when finally I received an SMS from Teacher Flo who will be my next part-time boss. Quickly I have replied and felt relieved that at last, I have a new way to earn money!

Oh I have waited for this for awhile now, and I couldn't be anymore thrilled with this big news! Three months of having a part-time job won't be that long. Just the right timing to prepare for my baby's 5th birthday plus an additional help to my 'soon-to-be thrift shop'.

Changes are now coming up:

• The NO MORE nocturnal nights for me.
• The NO MORE staying late in the office, gossiping with co-workers, strolling around the Metro
• MORE of waking up by 6AM. And hitting the morning rush. Grr! Here's when the challenge comes!
• MORE strict handling of errands, especially those that are too personal
• MORE of time management
• NO MORE lunch time with the baby Athena :( This is the saddest part for me. I can just sleep with her for a couple of hours, and need to prep for work again

In spite of being happy about this new job offer, what bothers me is that I will have lesser time to be with my baby in the next 3 months. But since I am raising her on my own, I have to face the reality that I have to work harder for her. For what she needs and what she wants as well. Soon, she will be a pre-schooler, I want to be responsible with all her expenses, proving myself on how I can handle motherhood completely.

I know this will not be uncomplicated at first, but with few adjustments, surely she'll be able to adjust too. With this new kind of set-up, I must always remind myself of my priorities are, and that is my baby.

For the next 3 months, NO ALCOHOL DRINKING, NO PARTIES, NO GIGS. Sacrifices wouldn't be that tough knowing that at the end of it all, everything will be worth it!

Lezz do diz!

Karirin ang karir Katring! 

As an Article Writer?

As the word “RESIGNATION” remains as one of my escapism for awhile now, at some point I am still undecided to whether I should quit from my job or not. But since I do have friends from different fields, I have asked one to just refer me to any part-time job. That is if my work will be approved.

Article Writer—sounds cool eh? Alright, so I may not know how to write like how a usual writer writes. I don’t have backgrounds of any Mass Communication or Journalism classes, but what I possess is the willingness and at some degree maybe cleverness in pointing my ideas out with topics that are common, and at the same time bizarre or atypical ones.

And this is what she gave me: A Frigidaire and KitchenAid Specs and Descriptions. I need to make a review out of it! In 250 words, in the span of two hours!

So just now I have remembered, I didn’t even care to check if I consumed 250 words or not. You see, instructions are really important. I should be more attentive in following such.

And going back to what I was saying. At that moment, I was in my workplace, would get a call probably in 30 minutes. Can you just imagine how stunned I was and at the same time I felt my blood speeding up enormously. I was excited! I felt like for the first time, I can show off what skill I have. That I can take anything seriously as long as I focus on it.

Hesitation was nowhere to be found then. I made myself undistracted all throughout the given time. And accepted the challenge of writing for them. I wouldn’t brag about it as if it was really the best article I have ever written. It was the first time, and I would like to go on with that kind of work. Hopefully.

The adrenaline rush that has gotten into me somehow paid off since I was able to pass it according to the time restriction. Now it is just the result that I have to wait for.

No matter what the result may be, I will not be dismayed, rather I will encourage myself to excel more :)

K.

Nagging Katring!

Now my head is certainly cluttered. There are a lot of issues going through and all I can do for the meantime is to on my shuffle, get stuck with my music, and write. Endlessly. Over thinking has been an abused act for me. No matter where I am, what is happening, my head can't be empty-handed. 

That call from my Mama was quite disturbing. As the eldest, I have to somehow be ready at times that they need me around. That I should extend a helping hand anytime of everyday. It's like an automatic obligation that I can't refuse. 

I have a boss that is very delinquent of his position. Who's too inconsiderate, draconian in terms of what his employees need.  Greedy and knows nothing but what will please him. 

Putting up a business has been one of the goals that I would like to accomplish as 2012 comes to an end. I have been foreseeing ber-month as the start for my 'clothing business'. For such a long time, I have enjoyed being a loyal buyer, I suppose, it's the point wherein I should be the seller. 

Trying to figure things out about the different facet of my being. Juggling individual roles at the same time, from a diligent/loving single mom, to the most supportive eldest sister, to the daughter who can take each of her parents blues, to a trying hard composer/musician/blogger, to somehow a respectful employee, to an eccentric friend, lastly to a frustrated girl who's still a self proclaimed hopeless romantic.

Oh well, that was too much for me to blurt about.

K.

Drawing/Drafting 101.

Kaakibat ng pagkuha ng kursong Engineering ay ang mga subjects na tungkol sa drawing o drafting. Plates ang tawag namen sa mga ito. Bilang isang Civil Engr student, dati, isa ito sa mga pinaka enjoyable na pwedeng pagka abalahan. Naalala ko, nung unang taon ko sa kolehiyo, sandamakmak na kagamitan ang siyang dapat kong pag kagastusan. Isa isahin naten:


Technical Pen. Tech pen in short, na hindi lang isa kundi mga lima pa kung pa minsan. Di kasi ordinaryo na ball pen ang gamit naming mga Engr student. Ang mga tech pens na kung tawagin e may mga variations pa, depende sa kapal ng point nito, ranging from sa pinaka manipis na .1 hanggang sa pinaka makapal na .5. Ang favorite kong gamiting kahit sa pagte-take down notes e yung .3 :)
P.S. Ingatan wag mahulog, kundi mawawalan ng tinta!


Paper. Basic need ito sa pagbuo ng isang plate. Kung inaakala nyo na ordinaryong bond paper lang ang gamit namen, aba hindi. Depende sa professor, kung gaano sila kaarte. Since nag aral ako sa dalawang Engr schools, ito yung mga na try ko ng pag-drawingan:

• Sa TIP Manila, yung malaking size ng sketch pad, hindi ko na alam kung yun yung sepcific na tawag sa papel na yun, kasi may 6 years na since nung last na gamitin ko yun. Pero yun, astig talaga yun, sa lapad nya, kuntodo effort ka sa pag extend ng mga arms para matapos lang yung drawing mo. 
• Sa UE Manila naman, dun ako mas nasanay gamitin yung mga regular bond paper. At itong mga bond paper na ito, e may mga differences din. Sa size-- merong A4, short at long. Tapos yung GSM ng papel o yung thickness nya, na kung gaano kaganda yung kalidad ng papel. Basta ako, maarte ako, sa higher GSM na paper ako.
• Tracing paper. Kadalasang pang higher year lang ang paggamit ng tracing paper. Dito tini-trace na yung mga details ng bahay or structure. Mas manipis ito compared sa mga regular na papers na gamit namen. Mas maingat dapat ang pagbubura at page-edit dito. Sadly, di na ako nakapag try gamitin itong papel na ito.

Templates. Madaming klase ng templates ang gamit ng bawat Engr students. Pero para sa mga Civil students, ito yung mga pinaka common, na nagamit ko na din nung nag-aaral pa ako:

• Circle Templates. Obviously gamit sya pag yung dino-drawing namen e may mga circles, tulad ng sa bahay, yung mga mas detalyado, sa screw. Madalas kasing tricky ang paggamit ng compass, kung kaya naman makuha sa pag gamit ng circle template, mas simple ang buhay. O di kaya, protractor. Ayan, kanya kanyang diskarte sa pag utilize ng gamit.
• Oblong Templates. Ellipse Templates. Flow Chart Symbols Templates. Hmm, aalalahanin ko muna kung ano talaga yung tawag dito, pero sa ngayon, eto yung template na ginagamit kapag hindi totally circle yung object. Malamang! Kapag may onting liko. Or minsan kasi, may mga pinapa drawing na elisi or flower type na mga objects, dito papasok ang pag gamit sa template na ito. Or pag may mga diamond objects, rhombus, trapezoid at kung anu-ano pang medyo komplikado i-drawing freely. 

Pencil. Eraser. Ruler. Bago pa pumasok sa eksena ang lahat ng bagay bagay na nabanggit ko, walang mabubuong plate kung wala ang mga pinaka basic na ito. Pagdating sa pencil, anything goesm Mongol man yan, Rotring, mechanical pencils o ano pa. Lalo na sa eraser at ruler. Kadalasang improvise ang ID kapag missing in action ang ruler, kaya higit din na mahalaga ang ID para sa amin.


Ang matinding T-square at Tube/Canister. Hindi ka solid na Engr student kung kahit kelan e hindi ka nagma-angas isukbit sa balikat mo, o bitbitin man lang ang dalawang bagay na ito. Higit saan mang kagamitan, ang mga ito ang nagpatindi ng excitement ko sa pagpasok buong taon. Umulan man o umaraw, asahang kaakibat ko ang mga ito. Rotring at Staedler ang mga tatak na nangunguna pagdating sa mga Engr materials. Syempre dun ako sa Rotring. Ang regular T-square size is 12" tapos sumunod na dun at pinaka mahaba e yung 36". Ang mahabang ruler na ito ang nagsi silbing sandigan mo sa pagpantay ng papel mo at sa lahat ng ido-drawing mo. Malas mo kung ma-mali ka pa sa paggamit nito. Dumihin ito perso tanging alcohol lang ang sagot para matanggal yung mga tinta ng tech pens at pentel pen kung minsan. Ang tube/canister naman e yung lagayan ng mga plates namen, kesehodang tapos yun o hindi syempre. Onting rolyo ng papel, suksok, vuola! Matic ng safe ang gawa mo. Rain or shine! Kadalasan din itong ginagawang pencil case.

Masking tape. Correction paper. Cutter. Pentel pen. Mga additional na lang itong mga ito sa aming mga mahilig mag-drawing. Pampa gaan ng gawain, mga handy tools kumbaga.


Para sa akin, napaka dumi ng mundo ng mga Engr students, pero sa duming ito nahahasa ang mga kakayahan naming para maging pulido in the future. Bawat estudyante ng kursong ito ay may kanya kanyang diskarte. Matira matibay. Hindi lang husay ng kamay ang puhunan, ginagamitan din ng utak. Di man ako nakatapos, buong puso kong minahal ang Engr, at pilit pa rin akong naaaliw sa mga bagay na naituro nito sa akin, philosophically—


“Na ang buhay ay isang malaking sketch pad, may mga bagay, tao o pangyayari na pwedeng tumuwid ng buhay o kaya maka gulo. And at the same time, may mga bagay, tao o pangyayari na pwede ring alalayan ka at abutan ng tulong. Maaari kang sumilong sa canister na syang nanay mo, pamliya o di kaya kaibigan kapag pagod ka na at gusto mong i-tengga muna ang plate. O kaya’y magbura ng mga mali kung kakayanin pa. Pero higit sa lahat, sa kursong ito, natutunan kong magkaroon ng permanenteng desisyon, na ako mismo ang nag-design at naglapat ng tinta. Na syang pwede kong balik-balikan at ngitian ng walang pag aalinlangan.”


Sa buong panahon na nag-aral, nag-stop at nag-aral at nag-stop ako, ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng mas malalim pang pagtingin sa kurso ko. Ayos!


K.

Katring goes blogging!

I will always make it a point to update my blog. Those that I have written in my journal, hmm, let us see if  I can pile them up too. Nevertheless, I will encourage myself to be more creative as well as to be more attentive in blogging :)

Maligayang Kaarawan Pepe!

Hunyo 19.

Jose Protacio Rizal Mercado y Alonso Realonda. 

Higit na kilala bilang Jose P Rizal. 

Sa tulong ng iyong mga akda, namulat ang aking mga mata, sampu ng mga mamamayang Pilipino sa kung paano nasadlak ang Pilipinas at ang mga mamamayan nito sa kamay ng mga mananakop. Salamat sa malikhaing pagpapahayag ng kagustuhan mong lumaya mula sa pagkaka gapos ang lupang Sinilangan.

Daang taon matapos ang mga ito, sa kapanahunan ng bagong henerasyon, tila ang mga burgis at nakaaangat sa buhay ang siyang nagha haring uri. 

Gayun pa man, ang araw na ito'y aking pinagpupugay para sa iyo. 

Maligayang Kaarawan!

Hi stranger! Put that smile on your face :)

I'm Katring. 

I live in a mad world consists of realistic perceptions which most people say are pessimist ones. I hope to be writing down stories, issues and articles regarding unusual stuff, plus personal ones too. Let us be friends! :)