Game over, December.

"Life is full of uncertainties, you'll never know when to be certain."

This year blew me away with all its drastic changes. Which they say is the only constant thing in this world. But as what my sister say, it's not just change that is constant, it's also the "memories". So with the final entry that I will be writing down tonight, let me walk you through as to how 2012 has been to me.

1. I have this odd-age fetish. So when I turned 23 last January, I made sure that I will be having a fun night filled with beers and friends. And true to that, my last birthday went crazy! But since this coming year, it's my 24th  birthday, I will not be having those normal celebration. What I have in mind is to do a charity work, and hopefully, time and my budget will allow me to.

2. Up Dharma Down has been my favorite OPM band and I am such a fan girl that even after work, I still watch their gigs. Even if it takes me to travel from North to South! I've not been able to see them perform due to my work schedule, but this 2013, babawi ako.

3. By February, I once again felt how it's like to broken-hearted. To someone who was a good friend. WAS. It's a shame how you use past tense describing as on how you were with someone. You have to go on and pretend that nothing happened. That you never met. That he never came along. My love month tormented me. Chos!

4. My smoking habit worsen and I enjoyed how puffing makes me feel dizzy. With each cigarette sticks, I found comfort. I made myself believe on that. But with self-motivation, somehow I was able to get rid of it. Little by little. Still in the process.

5. It was the month of June that I had to work 14 hours a day. A part-time job that lasted for 3 months with the 9AM-1PM schedule and my full-time job with the 2PM-11PM . It was challenging. Indeed. And it made me work my ass continuously! There I met Korean kids whom I treated as my own child since they were just on their own here in Manila and they became really close to me. Guess they have forgotten about me now. Dramarama! And even if Habagat hit the city non-stop, I still did go to work the following day. And to my surprise, I was the only employee who went to work! Talk about being "workaholic" :p

6. It was also in the second quarter that I was able to start my blog. Which has been my plan for months and that at last was able to do. Currently I have 59 blog entries and I couldn't be anymore happy that I was able to do this now. Sharing thoughts as to what issue I want to talk about has been very relieving and knowing that there are some who are "supporting" me makes my heart super happy! However, I feel sorry that I couldn't write as often as I want to. But still, this blog will be kept updated no matter what.

7. It's also in this year that after almost 3 years of working, I was able to buy gadgets. Hehe. I'm not really techie nor someone totally interested in new stuff but I did really feel great that I was able to buy my laptop, Canon camera and my qwerty Nokia phone. Haha. While everyone's going gaga over the touch-touch thingy, what I prefer is still the basics. It makes me smile knowing I bought things because I worked hard for it :)

8. I have always believed that Papa Jesus knows how strong I am and that still He molds me to be a stronger one. It is after 5 years that I talked to him once again. Talk to him in a sense of asking him as on what He is planning for me. Of how he sees me as His child. I admit I don't believe in the Bible, but that doesn't make me less of a believer. That doesn't make me a sinner. My faith in Him has grew stronger. With Him, I find peace and certainty. I hope you do too.

9. As I grow older, misunderstanding between my mother happens differently. Yes, most of the time because of reasons that are petty. But some that are serious enough that drives her mad. But I have learned how to pacify her. And I guess it's just normal that things like that happen. Other than being her child, I myself is also a mother so I try as much as I could to grasp more of what she say. Which is not really easy since I am stubborn. Hoho. 

10. My unica hija turned 5 years old by the beginning of ber-month and the best way to let loose is to go on leave which I yearly do and to have a feast with the family. Now I have a little dalaga who knows how to answer back in a very clever manner. Ako na ang nauubusan ng Ingles! Yes! Haha. P.S. I can now tie her hair. I have waited for this in years. Haha

11. I retreat to reading and having a diary after ages. And although I can't finish writing in my journal because mostly it's not allowed at work, with the use of my phone, still I was able to make drafts of what I feel, what I think and what goes on in my eccentric mind. I have been buying notebooks wherein the first few pages were only used. Ha! And now I'm keeping all those locked up. Chos! Thrift bookstore serves as my haven whenever I go to malls since I always buy books that really interests me. This year, I was able to finish 5 books I think. Boo! Now I'm currently finishing the sixth. As what the writings in Fullybooked, The Block say, "Life happened because I turned the pages."

12. It was October that suddenly, our Korean company finally decided to stop its operation and to let go of its employees. For almost 3 years, my colleagues became my friends and the normal "Hi, hello" turned into long hour of chitchats that I have been missing. That company became my home. And it has been easy to get along to all the people I have worked with. Even with the Management. Although the presence of collision is there, still the years I have worked there will always be precious to me.

13. The following surprised me by a phone call from a BPO company and luckily, I became part of Wave 51 for a Telecom company. It's a new environment. A whole new world filled with uncertainties to people that I will be working with, and even to the field itself. Shifting schedule bewildered me. I was caught in the middle and now there's no turning back. This is what I have been planning for. Now I'm here, there's no way out anymore.

14. And for the final month of the year, our family will be celebrating New Year differently. I finally gave in to Mama's request of going to Cavite and spending the next 3 days there. What I just hope for is that my mood swings won't be attacking by then. After that, I will be starting my countdown to my 24th birthday. Yay!

Under all the circumstances that 2012 put me through, still I am completely thankful as on how it started, how it went on, and on how it will end. It was not a perfect year, it was not totally the best year, but it was a year that made me stand on my own two feet toughly. It challenged me as on how I will take life to the extreme limit. And that's what makes this year eminent.

Quota ako ng tawa at iyak sa taong ito and yet, wala akong kasawa-sawang madama ang dalawa sa pinakamati-tinding emosyon. Surely, happines and saidness goes hand in hand. 

I lost people. Gained new ones. Lost a job. Found a better one. It's your faith in yourself that you must not lose. Ever. And the love in your heart that makes you smile day after day even if the world gives up on you.

Stranger, always have a strong heart. Until next year! :)